So almost steady for a month and a half I have been working out, it started as a trial while I could and has turned into a much needed program. I hate starting because I’m always so excited and so anticipatory of the results after like 2 weeks and that along with stressful situations always seems to keep me from continuing and or finishing until I hit my base goal. Well I vowed this time around that I will conquer this darn baby weight madness that has plagued me for two years (no excuses right I know).
The thing is however, I have just had an epiphany it’s not really the pounds that are holding me back it’s all the other dead weight from various other stresses in my life. Lack of fulfillment in my career, not feeling like myself since family life kicked in, fear of not doing something great by 30 (yes the big 3-0 dun dun dun *music plays), missing the life and times of my past pre family life. Shall I go on? Perhaps like myself you viewed a certain popular talk show host this week and if so you saw the shows 1) where moms discussed their frustrations and truths about motherhood, and 2) the show on “recession” proofing your marriage. You know the show with that “person”who gives away things just because and has been probably one of the most charitable and at times controversial in show subject content (if you don’t know to whom I’m referring still I think you can board the next thing smoking back to Venus). Well I so identified with some of the female commentaries on the show it was crazy! As cliche as it sounds they took the words right out of my mouth, but seriously it was then that made me realize that if I could just get these subject matters in some kind of initial order perhaps my actual weight would fall in line.
I’m thankful that things are not as out of hand as they could be nor as bad as my mind blows them up to be but nonetheless very real and at times very stressful. I feel as though my internal “get it done by 30” clock is ticking extra fast and I need to come up with a plan to achieve all of my pre 30 goals before it’s too late. This rush almost reminds me of how I rushed through undergrad when I thought I may not graduate “on time” or with my friends. In retrospect I wish I had taken my time and not rushed trough my last year and taken an easier load and just let my experience carry me of course it’s noting that I can change however, I often wonder as many of us do about past decisions if different what possible outcomes would have been in the situation, in life etc.
So I hear the thing is being content in any and every situation and honestly living in your current space. My space is (ha you guys didn’t really think I was going to tell all is that what people really do in blogs?) anyway to sum it all up in the midst of everything socio-economically we are doing OK but on a deeper level though my marriage could not be any closer than it’s been since its inception we are having some definitely difficult times though mostly if not totally financial the pressure of providing a life of stability and promise is definitely being tested.
*Side bar: does anyone know why people use the strike-through? I’m quite curious and if I can’t find it through Google it’s going to suck majorly*
Anyway I’m sure if I can just get a handle on these issues I’ll be about 90 lbs lighter and then I will have tripled my goal of losing 30 lbs and be able to eat what I want to gain at least 20 of them back lol!
*I thought I would include this you tube video of Robin Thicke I so love his music and I’m listening to him as I type so…enjoy!