My thoughts on independence…

When you think about the word independence and further what it means to be independent what immediately comes to mind? The word is so broad and yet perspective specific. Yesterday I watched as my recently turned 3-year-old danced and interacted with other children, she didn’t stop to ask for help when she fell nor for help with her coat and belongings when it was time for her fun to end. I began reminiscing on earlier times when it appeared the only word she knew it seemed was “mommy” and though it’s becoming relaxing not hearing it as frequent it appears I am already missing the baby stages I couldn’t wait for her to graduate from.

Then we move to another form of independence as I work hard everyday attempting to build a name for my small business working long hours and grinding out on many a day just to obtain more exposure. The weigh in or so as I understand it is to become and or maintain the entrepreneurial mindset and spirit because those individuals obtain the quality and lifestyle that most others dream of. Every few days I think about the trials I have endured just to say I own my own business and how everything falls on my shoulders, clutters my plate, and crowds my dreams. Yet while I’m typing there is a certain sureness a certainty even that this is one independence I’m unwanting to trade it definitely has its ups and downs but it’s mine and I built it from the ground up. Sweat equity! However for the exception of the occasional intern I do it all alone and for what so I can obtain all the credit or perhaps I can’t really afford to hire. Perhaps I’m cheap and want to keep all my DIME’s to myself? There’s sure a cost for employment independence.

A more popular form of independence is found in the streets of urban America where it is not only broadcast but seemingly subliminally taught to young girls and women to be I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T. Scream it so everyone hears, yell it until it reaches the hoods and corporate boardrooms being independent is the sugar honey iced tea…right? I grew up admiring this urban doctrine and adopted most of what society suggests independent young woman should do and attempt. Some accomplishments were achieved even before their time and I began to grow an appetite for the next big thing, whatever that THING was or became. Don’t get me wrong I enjoyed just about every moment of being an independent woman and as a married woman I long for the times when that part of me surfaces for a time. I often wonder however if striving independence and admiring society’s notion for it created this living breathing achievement monster I know is nestled within me. The one that is always determined for more and the next big thing, also the one that holds me captive in my accomplished yesterdays so much that I fail to notice the evolution of my independent present and my recent achievements.

Ciao bella 😉

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