Do you ever notice how we’re always racing to the next? The next day, the next hour, the next meeting, the next outing, the next check, the next…well you get it. I think we all have our ways but I’ve been learning not only to pace myself but to enjoy whatever view I have while I’m in any particular place or space in life. Some compliment and say that’s a late lesson learned early due to my age but the truth of the matter is its not something I’ve completely grasped just more of an understanding of how it benefits me and I’m in the process of putting it into practice.
I’ve been known to work best under pressure and when my plate is empty I tend to overtly procrastinate (at least I feel as though I do) so as soon as a few items are checked off my list, I find more to add. Interestingly enough even as I type this I just had the thought “How ludicrous is that?” I need so desperately to be or feel busy that I can’t even enjoy the satisfaction of knowing I’ve completed my tasks for a time period because I’m constantly seeking more. Perhaps I enjoy being busy and find my multitasking abilities the validation I desire that I may or may not receive from the various people important to me? I’ll have to ponder on that one more. Though my inability to take a breather from finding more and more things to do may make a great bullet point on a resume, being a woman of faith, family, and having a smidgen of a social life with everything else I have going on you’d think I’d relish in a job well done.
I think my mom made it most clear though it humored me when she said about five years ago or so, “I’ve put in my time rushing, I’m done with it now folks need to give me advance notice or I’m just not going (doing anything) and that’s that.” I’m not sure if it was more hilarious that she may have just made 50 at the time and reminded me of a grandma or if the words she used made sense as her words often do especially when you don’t want to hear them. I think at that particular time I was the one who was “rushing” her to hurry up so we could go to the store during her hour-long ritual of putting on make-up that was just a bit much for me that day.
Enough for now… 😉