One of my good friends has a pretty cool blog she donates her time to, I can’t recall ever disliking a post I’ve read as her writing is quite witty and entertaining to say the very least. Today reading a post conveniently nestled in my inbox she had an anonymous blogger and friend put an answer to well known questions on romance and marriage. After getting the green-light I wanted to share the post with you here.
“I asked one of my friends to sit down and answer questions for me regarding romance, marriage and how to keep the spark alive when you’ve got little people in the house. Here’s what this 29-year-old mother of 2 and wife of 1 had to say about it. A private person, she’s chosen to stay anonymous, but her answers could help all of us.”
“I am a 29 year old wife first, a mother second, a daughter, a sister, an aunt, niece and friend to many. I’m organized, sometimes anal; but I love to laugh and have fun as well. My sisters say that I’m the type of personality “you have to get to know”. LOL. But generally speaking, I’m an easy going person. My husband is my best friend. It may seem corny but it’s the truth. I love my family life (most days-real talk). I love to help others and love, love. My husband and I have been together 13 year total, 8 years married. My oldest son is 5 years, my second son is 3 months.
The lack of sleep does play a part, but that’s what they make Red Bull for. You have to make “sexy time” a priority. A happy mom and dad makes for a happy family unit. Keeping everybody relaxed and cool is an important aspect to keeping the closeness in your marriage. Yes, everyone is running on fumes for a while, but people forget that the children grow up and leave the nest. If you put your relationship on the back burner to raise them, you will look up and they’re 18 in college, and you will have no idea who your spouse is anymore. That’s why it’s important to keep your marriage first on the priority list and to do your best to remain open and honest with each other.
Us, never married women, always hear that communication is key to a healthy and happy marriage. But let’s get real, as a married woman of 8 years, how high up on your ‘important things in a marriage list’ would you rank passion?
Communication and passion are absolutely at the top of the list for a healthy and happy marriage. I feel they go hand in hand. Marriage is not easy every single day, but it should be most days. Let’s be honest, sex makes us feel closer to our partners. So if you’re not having sex the lack of passion in the relationship will ultimately become a ticking time bomb. That’s why sometimes you may have to dip off to the bathroom while the kids are playing and minding their own business or develop your own form of “dad’s apartment”. You have to make ways to keep the passion alive and get creative especially after the children come.
Are you into romance or do you find that to be overrated and corny? What’s the most romantic thing your husband did that that you still remember?
Romance is not overrated or corny. We do our romance thing how we do it. My husband is very thoughtful. He listens to me. He’ll buy me little things that I mention in passing when I don’t think he’s paying me any attention. He’s “kidnapped” me a few times. Meaning, he’s arranged for child care and picked me up and has the entire evening planned. That’s what I call romance and keeping the spice alive. And as far as the most romantic thing he’s ever done, I’d have to say the above mentioned Valentine’s Day is high up on my list…
Whenever I talk to married women, such as yourself, there is always a ‘the grass is greener’ conversation. What are the top 3 things that you wish your single friends would cherish during this unattached time in their lives?
I don’t necessarily have a “grass is greener” mentality. There are different phases in life. Your adolescence, your single life, your married or in a committed relationship life, your life as a parent, your life as an empty nester etc. Some of those intertwine. That said, I truly enjoy “my guys”. Is it hard some days? Yes. Is it easy on other days? Yes. But the short story is that you have to be prepared for wifehood and motherhood. The top three things I suggest my single friends cherish boils down to ONE thing. TIME. Enjoy your time alone. My sister recently told me that she would love to be in a relationship but doesn’t want “anyone sitting on her couch all the time”. I get that. But that is not a factor for me because my husband and have lived together so long. And honestly, we give each other our space even when we’re home together. You have to be prepare for someone “invading your space”. Especially if you’re used to having your own space. Once you become wife and a mother, your time is not your own. So while you’re looking for “the one” enjoy that anticipation time while the two of you are apart and dating, I did. That made it so much better when we were able to be together and it has the same effect now. I appreciate my man and my little guys even more now because I was prepared for that and this is the life that I wanted and the life that I love.”
Don’t you just love this? Well I did and so much I had a response of my own.
“I really enjoyed reading this post as I’m sure its apparent due to my sharing a few of the bloggers’ sentiments (and being a married woman). It was very well described and I love, love, love “Dad’s Apartment” lol such creative terminology. I know its definitely true about the necessity of having that intimate time with your hubby. We (my husband and I) try to rekindle that in my home when we can and celebrate outside of the home as often as we can as well. I’ve found that variety is key, you already share the same place AND space, and see the same face EVERYDAY so you definitely have to try to mix things up a bit and often!
I can say that when I first got married I really didn’t know how to act, react or handle the huge switch that I was grossly unprepared for. We’ve had our times, ups and downs all around. Our love for God first and then our love for each other definitely keeps us in the running for America’s Next Top Couple…but I humorously digress. I really just wanted to comment about the post and how I enjoyed it due to it being so relatable. Let me also comment on the portion described about having single moments; SO IMPORTANT. When I first got married it was almost like to many of my friends that I’d disappeared and when I finally did peek out of my “shell” I almost couldn’t recollect how to behave amongst my friends or even in general society as just myself. I credit my single friends for consistent updates, the push to do more and making it a must to keep my commitments as often as possible ;)”
Did you enjoy this (PLEASE EXCUSE THE VARIOUS FONTS I CAN”T SEEM TO GET THEM UNDER CONTROL)? Please check out my good friends blog Milky Way: The Life of A Chocolate Girl In The City, it definitely will not disappoint she has also asked me to include her social media contact via Facebook you can click to add her here.