We began (most of us) having realistic standards on life, love, and relationships. When we’re in the beginning of a serious relationship it has always astounded me as to how the dynamic of those things aforementioned and the individuals always change. Really people never change they just become more comfortable to show their true selves and the other member of the relationship sees and declares this a “change” as something “new” because upon introduction and the time spent that it took to grow and groom a relationship these standards, feelings, rules, and behaviors weren’t present.
When I married my husband I married for love and I married because I wanted to be in right standing with the God I serve and believe(d) in. When you say “I do” the real life to come can be clouded by fuzzy feelings, heightened futuristic expectations, and fond memories of the dating stages but not I, nope Tonisha was prepared. Ahem…or so I thought. This is in no way to suggest I regret my choice of getting married or to whom I’m married to I’m thankful to truthfully admit and know I married for love. I didn’t run and get married because I was pregnant as people often do in the subculture of church goers I’m apart of, I wasn’t running from abuse or looking for a father as often times some women do, nor was I looking for a free ride or a financial suitor to “save me”. For all 3 stories I’m thankful not to be apart of the ever-growing population.
With all this said and all the fuzzy moments had prior to and after the wedding its a known fact that husbands and wives argue. Seemingly more than those unmarried couples. Its the inevitable to disagree, we’re human so it can be easily said its just as understandable that we’ll have bumps in the road within a marriage. It is my firm belief that salvation between two people who really love God first helps to avoid some of the societal norms when it comes to marital hiccups, however unfortunately it does not come without some things and there’s no comprehensive insurance to cover what two people say or do because Jesus, R-E-S-P-ECT and a little self-control.
Now with that little preface out of the way, the good stuff… *cue the drum roll*
The hubby and I had an “interesting” conversation last night and over the last couple weeks. Though the topics have varied they all center around things seriously emotionally connected. Above all it felt like we had a 12 round boxing match via a calm conversation but these types of things are to be expected and at least one can rejoice when its held civilly and no dishes, car windows, and expensive items get broken lol but I digress. I asked myself as I’m sure my husband did and often does what is wrong with this man or what is wrong with me that the words coming out of my mouth hitting his ears don’t vibrate the understanding to his brain that I’m trying to ever so carefully explain? *Enter your favorite Tamar Braxton ad-lib here, for those of you who don’t know about her you’ll get it later.*
Its like ok we know the whole Mars vs. Venus thing I got six years in the game I can probably write a song about it and get a flash mob to do a dance but gee-willigers (did I spell that non-word correctly?). Anyway, after it was all said and done during my prayer time I asked God with what little strength I had after waking up early to get mija out of the door, get in some prayer time and get ready for the day myself, “Lord help me with this, I’m really at a loss for words.” I heard a number of things (for those of you who find that unusual we can discuss that) but suddenly I was flooded with memories of past and present experiences that reminded me of the love that’s between us. It takes some maturity to be able to discern things like staying with a person let alone to continue working and trying to work on the tough subjects that ultimately cause emotions to flair up and disconcerted attitudes but when there’s love there it really does ‘cover a multitude’ as so eloquently written by my main man Peter. *cues applause*
Now for the finale of this post lol you remember I told you you’d get something later? Well…enjoy 😉