Why Can’t I Have It All?

I know nothing in life is perfect but why do I have to feel like I’m limited to just doing one or two things? Why do I have to make a decision to resolve to do less instead of more? I mean we all complain in some way or another about having too much on our plates. The truth is I don’t want less on my plate I want more its just I want it buffet style where I can pick and choose exactly what I want and have it when I desire. Is that too much to ask?

I want to have a wonderfully beautiful and inviting home that I’ve decorated because it means more.

I want to eat out with my family 3 times a week and have weekly dates with my husband and zip off to quarterly weekends away.

I want to know my daughter is being cared for at school the same I would at home but with an enriched life and educational plan.

I want to have time for family and friends at a moment’s notice but have the complete courage and confidence to say “NO” when I don’t feel like being bothered and that to be ok.

I want to go to church and it mean more than a song and a dance in the eyes of the members. To have them as well as myself reassured in Christ and live our best lives so much so it can do nothing but point it all back to Christ.

I want a few lucrative and productive businesses (not projects) so I can give back to various family and mentors what they’ve given me and offer help to communities that really need it.

I want to give my munchkin all the culture and experiences she can stand and be the best mother I can be and let my time and presence in her life speak more than the “things” she gets from me or others.

I want to see my husband’s ambitions amount to more than just pillow talk and a prayer. I want him to really know confidently how great he is and what he offers and how that puts him on track to break cycles in his family some he dislikes and others he may not even realize exist.

I want the same for myself and not to feel as though I’ve got to be ashamed because I want that or be afraid to speak the truth about it…my truth about it.

I want to take random people on shopping sprees just because I can and they deserve to have a great day.

I want to make Christ, my husband, my parents, and my family at large proud based on the life I live and the decisions I make but for that not to dictate how I choose to live my adult life as long as I follow Christ’s statutes life should be fun and amazing!

I want to stop being misunderstood but want to wholeheartedly not care about certain opinions, people, and situations.

I want to have a summer villa in Tuscany and watch my daughter roll down large hills in the beaming sunlight, and try an array of foods and learn about an array of cultures.

I want to have many acquaintanceships and enhance the bond of my true friendships to continue to develop a network of various people who bring various strengths to my table and vice versa.

I love cooking (now), and art, music, and going to concerts, traveling, snapping random pictures about everything, shopping (of course), decorating, and creativity and business!

I love long conversations about everything and nothing over water,lemonade, coffee shucks even over wine (if I’d allow myself to drink it lol).

I want to dig fresh water wells and build schools, stop the criminalization of the innocent and stop pedophilia.

I want to encourage other women and youth to keep striving even in hard times and share some of my life’s experiences to attest to God’s love and life’s possibilities.

I want a lot…and is anything wrong with that? There are the naysayers that will say what I don’t need or what they don’t see or believe. They have always been there though. I ask myself why they’re opinions ever matter? When did my skin get so thin to allow others critical opinions to matter more than they should?

Guess I really needed to vent…and who best to but to my millions of readers lmbo ok…ok…maybe 5 but I appreciate the platform and even if no one ever reads, agrees, understands I’m thankful to be able to get this out.

Why can’t I have it all? Who said I couldn’t. Guess the real question is who says I don’t have it all? Maybe most days its a matter of perspective and working with the hand I’ve been dealt until a new hand is dealt. Almost reminds me of the “Adam and Eve” story when God asked who told them they were naked? Wow…


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