I’ve wanted an older sister like forever. I have never been the “girly-girl” type as far as being into what all the girls were into and having tons of female friends. I’ve seemingly always had more male friends at every turn because it (for me) was just easier and no nonsense. Not to toot my own horn but I’m a pretty cool and easy going chick. I think most that I know would agree. I’m the person who folks meet and always ask about like “where’s your girl?” So anyway unfortunately I wasn’t blessed with a “big sis” but I’ve seemingly been looking to fill that spot since the age of eight probably. Unfortunately for me I end up playing the role of “big sister” to many. No matter the age from the actual younger ladies I meet on up to women who are wayyyy older always seem to want to talk and confide in me. I’m up for the supposed “challenge” its never been an issue for me as I love people and always will lend an ear or advice if and when I can.
However, when I try to have that same type of engagement with a female friend it has never worked to my benefit. Either the women don’t know how to be there for me, we grow apart, they don’t want to be a person for me to confide in (seemingly) as the relationship started the other way around, or end up hurting me in some way where our ties have to be severed. This has been a pain in my side for years. I combat it by just continuing to be myself just as kind and giving and “sisterly” as I’ve always been.
On the flip side of things I have been blessed with a PLETHORA of friends and acquaintances. They all serve their purposes as do I in our varied types of near and distant relationships. There are a good 5 women in particular that have been there for me in ways unimaginable and out of that 5 a solid 3 that I refer to as “sisters”. We are all within the same age and all met in school and our relationships are such that I’ve grown up around they’re family, we have shared some crazy times, and no matter how long we go without talking we ALWAYS begin right where we left off.
In this moment I realize perhaps my quest for sisterhood should have stopped long ago. Perhaps I’ll never had the older sisters I desire but true sisters or this “sisterhood” I yearned for may have been staring me right in the face all these years…