lightbulbLast night I began what to others may appear to be the daunting task of rebuilding my company website, considering that once upon a time not too long ago doing so was the bread and butter of my business I knew it would be a piece of cake. Logging into my favorite website editor I realized the software had been updated, no biggie…I’m a technological guru. Well “Technolista” according the majority of all my bios on various social media sites but I digress, so this techno guru software junkie had an issue with learning the updates. I felt it was too mundane of a task and so I sat and stared endlessly at my screen tapping my fingers. I couldn’t believe this was me, I was hired by countless people in similar situations and now this is MY plight? So I got busy, busy thinking that is…pondering reasons that I felt such a way.

Hold that thought, in January of 2012 I took a hiatus from my business. At that time a temporary job I’d been working had turned full-time and my business had taken a backseat. Its arguable that before I agreed to take the temporary position (originally scheduled to be a 6-week project) my business was finally starting to show some results I’d been working hard to develop. However, the position I took to help a family friend and client totally ended up becoming something that would bless me more than I knew, so much so I stayed beyond the 6 weeks and even past the friend who left a partnership at the company. At the same time my business was coming off of what appeared to be an all time high in contracting new business, making profits, and noticeable buzz. It was quite difficult to balance the two and it was easier to make money working at the office so I figured perhaps I’d take some time off and decided not to accept any new clients. Towards what would later become the end of my time back in “corporate America” the idea of returning behind a computer screen just seemed unreal. During my time away I redeveloped my love of interacting with people the very thing it was easy to avoid having to do while building websites, as after the initial consultation every other interaction was done primarily behind my computer screen.

Those that KNOW me know that I exist with hundreds of business ideas and desires swirling around in my head every hour of the day, I say this because at any time I can become overwhelmed with an urge to try a few. At that time I was hooked on trying my hands on my home decor biz idea. It seemed perfect I could keep my business name, swap out a few details, build a portfolio and a brand new hobby turned business would be developed. It was also a great way to combine my passion for decorating, shopping (every woman’s favorite hobby) and interacting with people. I had already shut down everything and was in total revamp mode attempting to take a break to refocus, determine my goals, and ultimately God’s vision for me anyway as I was often doing everything and nothing. After a few things fell through I figured perhaps this alike other ideas maybe needed to be put on the back-burner. So with that and the curve balls life often throws us, now I was in a situation to take a minute to clear my mind and really seek the Lord on what was next. At this point I had already resigned from my job (long story no short answer) and shut down my business. Every once in a while I’d get requests to build websites but during the time off it occurred to me I needed to redevelop what it meant to me to consult with small businesses as it was never my intention to only build websites anyway hence the development of feeling burnt out after sitting behind the computer screen time and again. I needed something, but what?

Fast forward back to last night, I am just dreading the idea of building my site and the thought to actually hire someone else has not only crossed my mind but feels settling. In the last 24 hours I have had 3 potential clients contact me about building sites, I turned down a start-up’s project about two weeks ago, and now I cannot even fathom building my own website??? What the heck is going on? In times past when the going got tough I considered giving up on my entrepreneurial feats but every time I was ready to throw in the towel a client would appear or I’d get hit with some sort of encouragement to keep striving. Well as far as website ANYTHING this chica feels done, done, and done. I know this could change but as for now my business consulting websites are concerned is kaput. I thought I’d be afraid to actually type these words but I find strength in a renewed sense of being open to what’s next. Some call this an epiphany, others a moment of clarity, for me oddly enough this moment feels liberating.  Time to put some new irons in the fire and take some projects off the back burner and see how God moves on my behalf.

Wish me the best will ya?

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