I always wonder if its just me or if all wifums or people in general remember every commitment to a friend that they’ve recently broken whether it was cancelled or rescheduled but has yet to come together? I find myself keeping a mental tally of almost every incident for the current year where I personally have had to say no. It really used to steam me up because I always took pride in attending every invite and keeping every RSVP. Alas those days of my social life are over. Oh the liberty and joy of making plans and not having to second guess the dates or times and even if you double book you can just attend both events because hey you’re an adult you’ll make certain to attend to your next day responsibilities, even if they require you getting little to no sleep and a good cup of coffee.
Gone are those days where there was such a freedom in my scheduling and I didn’t have to double check against my husband’s work schedule or a sitters availability, or a prior family commitment heck or even be responsible to monitor available cash but that’s another post. I miss those days every now and then. I mean everyone needs an opportunity to just be themselves and even just to simply…be. However, in my opinion and I’ve spoken to other mothers and wifums alike that agree parenting for them is a FULL-time job and though its more demanding than most boardrooms (society is just catching up on giving up that credit especially if your a stay at home mom or a mompreneur such as myself) if your aspiration is to be the best mom you can be though it can be annoying to lose out on social happenings you definitely take pride in being present in your child’s life. It’s a feeling of accomplishment beyond compare when you know in all your knowing you’re striving to be the best and give your child the best you can.
However, every now and again if you are like me that small nagging feeling of a reminder shows up to help you remember the missed hangouts for the current calendar year. So today was my “day” and little by little all my past commitments began resurfacing and I thought to myself now how in thew world will I ever make good on everything or spend time with the people I have yet to? You know that missed birthday dinner, or last week’s coffee chat, last month’s out of town visit, or quality time with my baby sister? Shucks sometimes schedules never link up even for phone calls and I find myself relying on good ol technology to do the communication that I just seemingly cannot. Horrible I know but if I’m judging definitely an effective tool to stay semi-connected on current events in a friend or family members lives. Now if that wasn’t a large enough dilemma there’s yet another, just when we’re getting in the thick of summer fun that little two week window before things return to the school season is seemingly upon us. How in the world will I fit into the schedule of wrapping up a great summer with my munchkin, my current and past commitments, and spend some quality time with my husband? I know….I know that begins the age old question on balance and to think some moms have more than one kid and have jobs, ok I’ll stay on task this post isn’t about balance…it IS about my lack of a social life and how things used to be and how motherhood/wifehood has changed it.
How do you intergrate an active social life and keep your event commitments with a family? Do you go out at all or resolve that if you do every once in a while your grateful and if you do not then folks will just have to understand. I’ve definitely learned to take my me time by force when I need to but this is a bit different isn’t it?
Signed a wifum in social debt…or am I?