I’ve been observing my daughter a lot lately and being I’m one of those mom’s that cry when their kids can no longer fit a certain size (as it indicates them getting older and moving one more step away from being mommy’s little baby) it’s probably easy to believe I’ve noticed so much.
I’ve said before my husband and I work at a boarding school. Well, this particular school traditionally had a military component for discipline and structure, they still utilize it within the overall program. When we first came here as a family we were taken aback by the military portion among other things but our daughter was excited and wanted to be apart. She would stand alongside our students as they practiced eagerly pretending to be in what they call the “platoon”.
It was super cute to see my then little six year old wanting to participate. Also kind of saddening that she couldn’t in some capacity as working at a boarding school where you are also required to live if you are a family teacher such as myself is a lifestyle change and balancing act in it self.
Fast forward to this year, the “natural” children were allowed to participate in more than just the activities, they actually got to go to school with the students during this summer portion. This was great schedule wise as it creates a productive daily routine, maintains structure throughout summer, gives munchkin something constructive to do and is more convenient with our work schedule as dropping and picking her up from somewhere else would have added a layer of difficulty. We recently saw our daughter eager to participate with the students once again this time two years since that one time with picture etched in my mind. I
It’s amazing how the time flies by and our munchkins are munchkins no more. I know the time is fast approaching where our daughter will no longer appreciate a good dress up playdate, watching shows on Sprout, or playing with toys. Some of which has already begun and becomes more evident as the months role by. These facts bring a tear to my eye even now. Her conversation is different, likes are changing, she’s always been an excellent dancer and now she’s picking up on the kid “popular” trend dances, and getting more into fashion as if that piece ever lacked. I ponder on what it would be like if she were still my little tike of a child and what it will be like when she’s 9 and every year after that. I often have a desire for another child, I don’t share that sentiment often as it varies day to day when I wake up (jokingly) and catch a clue that I’m too old to start that process again or I may change my mind if it ever happened and the cutesy parts are over. To become pregnant if would take God and Him alone as I tied my tubes when I was younger, so certain I’d never change my mind about children. That decision is now sometimes a nagging regret in the recesses of my mind surfacing ever so often just to spite me seemingly. My husband desires another child too but that actual process, well… I’ve always wanted to adopt and hopefully one day will but having a little bugger sometimes doesn’t seem so horrible. Not sure which scares me more, the fact about our daughter being a munchkin no more or my hidden desire to have another child with the possibility of it never being an option and the weight of hiding that every time it surfaces.