Can you recall when you were first taught how to color? I can… I had to be about two or so and I can recall my mother explaining to me, “Nish when you color stay inside the lines so you can be ready for kindergarten.” Of course, I’d try to oblige but it never failed it seemed as though those darn black lines kept moving prohibiting me from following instructions. Finally, I would come to master those darn lines only for the same mother who taught me to stay inside the lines to later admit she wished she never told me to stay in the lines as it may have prohibited my creativity based on a study or something she’d seen or read.
I pride myself on being very creative, fairly open-minded, and willing to try many things at least once. There are still levels I have yet to attempt, however when it comes to my hair I am NOT open-minded, I DO NOT try anything beyond my comfort zone and when I’m considering any changes it’s always on MY TERMS and comfort level. About three weeks ago my hubby was scrolling through some pictures of light-skinned women with red hair and showed me a few pictures suggesting he thought I should try the color and thinks it would look nice. This isn’t the first time hubby has suggested a hair color as a few years ago he requested I dye my hair black, let’s just say I never really entertained the idea.
I recently shared with my husband during a trip to the mall that I thought it was time to switch up my look and just reinvent myself overall and that it had been a few years since I’d done any projects on myself. Of course, he conveniently reminded me of this and for the first time, I actually didn’t immediately dismiss the idea. Deep down even though I showed interest I figured that it would be just enough to convince my husband until his desire would pass. That very next day two of my best friend’s were visiting and they just so happened to agree that I should revamp myself after such a difficult 2016 AND deeply consider doing something for my awesome husband. “It’s only dye Nish, and you’d totally look cute!” I think I neglected to mention they too are “RED-HEADS” (pictured below).
They both look beautiful with their red hair and it so matches their complexion and personalities. I would never really consider getting red hair because in my mind on my lighter-skinned self it would not look nice no matter what anyone thought or other women of similar complexions wore it well. Eventually, I decided I’d try it and that decision led me to my friend’s beautician who of course was also a freaking red-head! Am I crazy or as it seemed all roads were leading to this red color? With lumps in my throat the size of frogs, Wednesday, January 4th at 10:30 am I allowed the stylist to began the process. By 2:30 it was official, I was a member of the red hair club! I couldn’t deny the style and color were dope! I just wasn’t sold on revealing my new self to the world and if the color itself was right for me. I knew one thing for certain, my husband better LOVE IT because I did this for him AND I never do anything this drastic to my hair.
I couldn’t wait to get home, the travel time was only 40 minutes yet it felt so far and even in the comfort of my car it seemed that eyes from outside were all looking and I was on display. I texted my two friends and aunt a pic and just as they believed it looked great, they were so proud of my courageousness and called names that would boost anybody’s self-esteem. Unfortunately, I was still not feeling it and it was there when I decided all of social media would not be privy to my new change. I had the stylist guarantee in my back pocket as well that she could reverse the process if I didn’t love it. Finally, I would arrive home and immediately enter my room where I found my groggy husband waking from his nap. Giving him seconds to come to himself and say something, anything! I finally said, “And soo…, this will cost you to get redone.” I didn’t receive the type of immediate compliment I thought I would from him and tried to hold back tears so I became angry. Talking to myself as I reminded myself of the sacrifice I made for his desire for spontaneity and how dare he not love it and appreciate it. So much so that as he left for work we barely said goodbye to one another, I’d decided within myself it had gone too far but attempting to shield my feelings I didn’t reach out to him. Instead, I sent him a text only after securing a Friday appointment to recolor and several texts to both my friends and aunt sharing what I thought was just utter gall.
I would later realize he didn’t like the multiple curls and though it was his request the bright red where my blonde streaks once were, took a minute for my sleepy husband to wake up and digest. We both apologized to one another and I dried my tears as I was in my feelings thinking I’d become an ugly duckling. It was then that I decided I would post my picture on social media and come what may I needed to get over whatever the fear of rejection was that I carried. Every day when I allow my daughter to decide her clothing or hairstyle choices I inquire who may have given her compliments at school. She comes home many days saying none of the students only adults or just her two closest friends. So kind of in her mind she’d receive compliments by default. I remind my munchkin that if you make a decision that you feel good about or was just your choice without anyone’s assistance you should feel good about it and not look for agreement from others to make you remain confident in your choice. In other words, if you choose it and no one else likes it so what it only matters that you the person who wears it likes it most.
What’s good for the goose is good for the gander. -Who created this quote anyway…?
I digress…I put this picture up and little by little others would comment that they thought the color looked nice. You would think those compliments along with my husband and munchkin’s approval combined would be enough to make me walk a bit more confident but alas…that was not the case. I started thinking about my initial discussion with my husband about revamping myself in conjunction with what a hard last year I’d had and how there are sooooo many different changes that have happened in my life. As I continued to reflect on this I realized that if I could only change my perspective I could really view these changes (though many quite saddening and others more drastic and unexpected) from the cup half full perspective. The next morning I called the beautician and thanked her for her flexibility and her hard-work coloring my mostly virgin hair and decided I will live with this color for a few months. And not only that, but I will embrace it from the perspective of coloring outside the lines the journey to revamping myself in 2017!
How many of you are embarking upon new territory? Have any major changes in 2016 that almost took you under but arose in 2017 with a renewed sense of self and a reminder even further more of who your God is? Have you made a decision to color outside of the lines in your own way in 2017? If so comment below or where you read this post and share your story with the #coloringoutsidethelinesin2017 Feliz Ano Nuevo people, and cheers to all things new!
Sir Brownlie approves this post by the way :0